Greetings Dear Souls,
In the last few months I have been thinking a lot about expectations.
Expectations are indeed a confusing and dangerous beast.
Disappointment, uncertainty, hurt, jealousy, anger, resentment, confusion, grief, sadness and betrayal can all stem from expectations not being met. It’s a concept I have struggled with most of my life.
My mother used to pick me up from school and say things like:
“I think we should go to Hong Kong for a holiday, what do you think Lizey?”
“Really mum? Hell yes, lets’ go! Awesome!”
Then, several hours later, after some logical thought, she would say:
“Nah, we can’t really afford that. Let’s just go down the coast for the weekend instead”.
My problem was, and still is, I’m a girl who likes to look forward to exciting things. I am super enthusiastic and encourage-able and I enjoy getting prepared for events I consider important. So for the two days I thought I was going toHong KongI had already started to happily plan where I could visit, what I would wear and the strange and unusual things I might get to see.
What I now know that I didn’t know before is……
EXPECTATIONS TAKE YOU OUT OF THE PRESENT MOMENT.
Over the course of those days I was lost in a dream of something that never happened and I missed out on two days of teenage experiences. I don’t remember what else occurred in those days, only that I felt let down by and resentful to my mother.
As I continued to ponder the notion of dropping expectations out of my life and clearing my mind of future conjecture you can imagine my surprise when (expecting to have a light, fun filled Gold Coast holiday with a large group of friends, all sharing a love of live music at Big Day Out 2012) I instead experienced a truck load of learning served like a slap to the face with a wet fish.
In the months leading up to my holiday I spent hours presuming and assuming I would have a frivolous, easy breezy adventure. An opportunity to shake off the cobwebs of 2011 and dance out all the remnants of my recent challenges and trials.
At the end of last year I gave my sub-conscious mind a stern talking to for having me on a drip feed of self awareness but after the wet fish to the face that came while surrounded by thousands of festival goers I was left feeling overwhelmed, scared and very confused. I spent most of the day isolating myself from my friends and unable to express my feelings and paranoia about how I appeared to those around me. Self doubting at every turn. Consumed by anxiety. Discombobulated and disconnected. Needless to say it was a frightening and upsetting experience.
In hindsight, of course, I am very grateful to the wet fish of knowledge I received, regardless of the time, place and intense way it was delivered. But for the past two weeks, since my return home, I have been wondering: if I had expected nothing would I have been able to have some much needed fun while still receiving the insights from my higher self? If I made a choice to release the picture I created before I even leftMelbourne, planning only the practical necessities and leaving the rest to the winds of change, would I have spend four days feeling disconnected and nervous?
Of course not, right? I would have been able to enjoy each moment as it occurred without needing to analyse, interpret or judge it. I could have allowed and trusted my sub-conscious or higher mind to absorb and understand the learning while my conscious brain was fully engaged in the present.
When you drop your expectations that a person, a situation, a place, or an object should fulfil you, it’s easier to be present in this moment because you’re no longer looking to the next one. Most people want to get what they want, whereas the secret is to want what you get at this moment.
- Eckhart Tolle
Now having said all of that, let’s not confuse expectations with dreams, intentions or premonitions. Dreams are a beautiful tool to stay connected to The Source and in your own creative sub-conscious. Dreams allow you to be in a trance state, therefore relaxed, flowing and at peace. But the dreamer knows she/he is dreaming and not to expect anything more than the moments of pleasure received while in the dream.
Setting your intentions for days, events and activities is also a beautiful tool to manifest your goals and desires. But the skilled manifester knows that the goal is set in clear intent while allowing the journey to take any shape. The outcome is solid but the path is malleable.
Premonitions take a similar shape. You have a vision or a sixth sense about an occurrence in the future or a knowing you might soon receive but the exact place, time and method is unknown, able to be moved and shifted as your sub-conscious mind and The Universe decides. Fluidity.
The Oxford Dictionary list these words as follows:
Expectation: a strong belief that something will happen or be the case
Dream: a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal
Manifest: clear or obvious to the eye or mind
Premonition: a strong feeling that something is about to happen
Having an ideal, ambition, indication or feeling that something may happen is natural and intrinsic to intuitive beings but having a strong belief that something WILL occur is counter-productive and detrimental to human beings. Animals in the wild must stay present, in the moment or die, it’s really very simple.
So, once again, I implore you (and my own mind) to look to the animal kingdom as a guideline for the organic behaviour of loosing all expectations, remaining present and allowing yourself to fully experience and enjoy each unique moment with a fluidity similar to the oceans tides. Take it from me (fish face) remaining in the moment, free of the burden of expectation, is simply the easiest way to be.
Until next time (and always) listen to the knowing in your heart and don’t believe everything you think.
Love is in the air,
Eliza




